April 30, 2010
Okay, so where does time go? And why am I fighting this inevitable evolution of who I am – or who I need to be right now?
I created this blog as a way to forge relationships with fellow writers – as a way to in essence “become” more cohesive and tied to my work. And while I do enjoy popping over to all the fabulous blogs, I have since found that keeping tabs on these new friends of mine out in the blogosphere who are so busy writing up a storm, makes me feel a bit scattered and inadequate. I feel a bit like the proverbial ducks in my life are not all lining up in a sequential line but rather in a dot to dot of life that I just don’t have time to complete.
Yes, having three children (one a toddler at home) could be throwing me off balance…or could it just be that my writing process takes eons longer than almost anyone else. I cannot set myself word count deadlines – if I do, I simply stare at the page counting how many more lines I need to fill. I cannot leave the dishes in the sink and the laundry to pile up while I pursue that next chapter, or else I drown in a sea of guilt. And if I think about it, I don’t need to let things pile up, because for some reason when my characters are ready to speak, ready to reveal themselves, they do and somehow it works. It just might take 18 months for it to all flow! Ugh. That’s not great output time, I realize. But it is just how it works for me.
And so I write this entry out of frustration. Frustration that I have not been a loyal blogger for a few months, frustration that my book is not further along, frustration that I should truly be planning my middle daughter’s next girl scout meeting instead of blogging… But I guess life is a game of hide and seek and I’m back in the game looking around the corner to see where my next chapter is hiding…
Tips on how to be a successful “writing mother” are more than welcome…