The alarm clock erupted like a siren beside the bed. Sadie startled awake, all memory of the night before gone, but only for a moment. Reaching a hand to stifle a yawn, she smelled the smoke from Tilley’s on her skin, and it all came rushing back. She stumbled out of bed and willed herself awake. It would be a challenge to get her mother to work today.

          As Sadie approached the sofa, her mother looked peaceful. Her eyelashes rested gently against her cheek, her lips soft and almost smiling. Her features were relaxed and delicate again like the years that Sadie remembered as child – those times that she had stumbled into the bed her mom and dad shared, climbing between them to savor the warmth there. Back in those days, her mother lifted the covers high and wrapped an arm around her to coax her back to sleep.

          It was a shame to wake her, Sadie thought now. But this wasn’t ten years ago. Today Rachel had to get to work on time.

          Sadie touched her mother’s shoulder tenderly. The shoulder rolled back and then flopped forward again lacking the usual resistance. Sadie pushed again. This time Rachel fell over onto her back and her mouth lolled open. Sadie’s heart raced.

          “Mom?”

          Rachel’s body rocked violently as Sadie pushed and pulled.

          “Mom!”

           Grabbing the phone from the coffee table, she dialed with trembling fingers. This was the moment she had been dreading for years now.

          “9-1-1. What is your emergency?” The operator’s voice sounded tinny and rehearsed.

            “I think my mom is dead. I can’t wake her up.” Sadie felt her whole body begin to convulse and felt the bile rising in her throat. The phone shook against her ear, knocking her head over and over with the receiver.

            “Okay, stay calm,” the operator said. “I’m sending an ambulance. What is your name?” 

            “Sadie Stoltzfus.”

            “Okay, Sadie, how old are you?”

            “Thirteen.”

            “Okay, you’re doing a great job. Help is on the way. Do you know how to look for a pulse, Sadie?”

            “I think so.” Sadie lifted her mother’s arm from where it dangled off the side of the sofa just shy of the tattered oriental carpet. She placed two fingers on the inside of her mother’s wrist and noticed how cold it felt to her own perspiring skin. 

            “Can you find a pulse?”

            “Yes,” she whispered. “I think so. Maybe.”  

            “Okay. The ambulance is almost there,” the operator said calmly. “Are you hurt?” 

            “No, I’m fine,” Sadie said, rocking back on her heels. “I’ll be fine.”